Gratitude

I am not skilled enough with words to fully express the gratitude that I have for the opportunity to be a stay at home mom.  Who would have ever thought that I would say those words?  Certainly not me.

I always saw myself as a teacher, an employee.  It was my identity.  I had never been able to imagine a time when I would be without that piece of me.  It took great faith for Keith and I to surrender.  Letting go of the "security" of my teaching job, of that paycheck, of my paid healthcare- now that was a leap of faith.  We were so committed, though, to raising our boys ourselves, and our priorities had shifted so much, that we were willing to risk potential financial hardship for the opportunity to raise our boys ourselves.  We were ready and willing to sacrifice our material possessions, give up our luxuries, so that I could do the day to day with our boys.  We believed this at the time, but now more than ever, I know that quitting my teaching job was one of the best and most life changing decisions we have ever made.  

Because I am a stay at home mom, I am able to witness the joys of motherhood that unfold minute by minute.  Today, Cooper drank from a straw for the first time.  Now, you may not think that drinking from a straw is a huge milestone, but to him it was and, therefore, to me it is.  I have tried giving him a straw to drink water before, but he has never known what to do with it.  For whatever reason, today was the day that he figured it out.  What fun to be there for it and to see the excitement in his eyes when he sipped and got water in his mouth through the straw for the first time.  Priceless.  

Because I am a stay at home mom, I witnessed Cooper turn around and crawl on his belly down the steps from the kitchen into the garage, as we were preparing to take his big brothers to school this morning.  He hasn't ever really had the confidence to go down the stairs by himself.  He log rolled down the steps inside our house a few months ago and since then he has been skiddish around the stairs.  It's completely understandable to be afraid after a fall.  But, not today.  Today, everything changed.  He was confident.  He turned right around and without hesitation, he backed his way down the steps and walked to the van door, ready to climb in.  After all of the teaching and demonstration and guided practice,  today was the day.  And I got to be there for it.      

I get to wake our boys up in the morning, feed them breakfast, make sure they take their vitamins and brush their teeth, kiss them goodbye as they run off to school.  I get to be there for field trips.  I get to help with Kindergarten workshops.  I get to administer AR tests in the first grade class.  I get to be the Kindergarten Thursday Folder mom.  I get to watch Cooper play and learn and squeal with glee.  I get to feed him every meal.  I get two hours of alone time with just him, every day.  I get to take him to music class once a week and I'll get to do even more as he gets bigger and more physically capable.

These are just a few examples of the little things that are really big things and I missed them all when I was working.  Without my years as a working mom, I know that I couldn't appreciate as much the opportunities that being a stay at home mom have offered me.  It's truly a blessing to be able to participate so intimately in the growth and development of our boys.  They are my job and my life.  I couldn't be more grateful for this time.  And, by the way, all of those fears about money that we rebuked when we made the decision for me to stay home, have all been laid to rest.  God is good and he has provided for us.  We have more than enough.  We are blessed.  

We have a reader!

For all of those who don't know...there is a HUGE gap between reading expectations in Kindergarten and reading expectations in 1st grade.  Too bad I didn't believe my friend when she warned me last year.  Typical ME behavior.  Sigh...

We have been working with Cade for 3 and a half months, for over an hour every day, on his reading skills.  He has struggled and whined, but fought through the tough times.  We even started the reading program at Kumon, as he doesn't qualify for reading intervention through school.  As a result, Cade has been completing 20 extra pages of reading homework 7 nights a week.  Excessive, you say?  Well, I might agree if I were looking at this from the outside.  Our boy, though, needs to fight and succeed on his own in order for his confidence to grow. We know this as his parents, so we have purposefully set the stage for his battle.

On Monday evening, out of complete desperation and my need for time with our other two boys, I sent Cade to his room to read in bed independently.  I had absolutely no expectations.  I knew that he would probably just look at the pictures on the pages and maybe glance at a few words, guessing at their meaning by their first letter.  I assumed that I'd ask him about what he'd read and I would hear nonsense as a result of his non-reading.  Boy was I ever wrong!

After 15 minutes or so, I had read to the baby, put him to bed, read with Carter and tucked him in.  I went into Cade's room to find his nose happily in his book.  He smiled at me with a special, very different kind of twinkle in his eye.  I took the book from him, quickly read through the 24 pages that he said he "read" and I asked him to tell me what the story was about.  He proceeded to tell me every detail of the story, in order, from the beginning.  No way, I thought.  This can't be true.  He must have been able to figure this out by looking at the pictures alone.  So, I proceeded to ask him questions that he could only know if he had been able to read the words themselves.  Guess what?  He knew every single detail.   Could this be for real?  I then chose a few pages for him to read out loud.  I purposely chose pages that I thought would be challenging for him.  For the first time....EVER...Cade read fluently, seamlessly, without hesitation or error.  My eyes grew to the size of saucers and I threw my arms around our boy.  "You did it," I squealed enthusiastically.  To say that I was shocked would be an understatement.  I was awed.  I just witnessed something spectacular.

The light switch was flipped on and Cade was thrilled.  He didn't want to go to bed without finishing his book.  Where I would normally say, it's time for bed, I instead went with the enthusiasm and allowed Cade 10 more minutes of reading as a privilege.  Reading....a privilege????  Yes, that's how Cade feels now.  Praise God!!!  It's a miracle!!!  

After 10 minutes, I went back into Cade's room and he had read 15 more pages.  Again, I tested him and he knew every detail.  We are so proud of Cade's persistence, tenacity, and success.   Life is good....really, really GOOD.